Captain Retzorg
Captain Retzorg as seen on the main page.

Full name

Zeeky Slotho Retzorg III


53 Slothogonian years


19 May 1957


6 August 1968 (revived)

9 March 1969 (revived)

3 July 1972 (alternate timeline only)


Mimi (cousin)

Zwietracht (creation and fusion partner)

Implied parent

Implied sibling of parent

Implied grandparent

Slothogonian Empire


Battles, curry, transforming into Discorretzorg, dolphins, Girt, Gyigo, Mimi, memes, Nikolai Tesla, Roast Horsetail, Tenguman, vinegar


Confusing events, Mimi forgetting its inhaler, others becoming possessed or crazed, Tenga's Heart, Thomas Edison, Woodrow Wilson, Cthulhu





"Up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, B, A, start!"

–Captain Retzorg[1]

Captain Zeeky Slotho Retzorg III, referred to as Retzorg, or, less commonly and more specifically, Captain Retzorg, in short, is a slothogonian of unknown residence, and the central character of Retzorg's user canon. It draws a number of similarities to Tenguman, especially in its earlier portrayals.


Being a slothogonian of typical appearance, Captain Retzorg is yellow in colour, and also has stripes that vary in colour from a darker yellow, to yellow-orange, to orange, depending on portrayal. While the stripes appear all over its skin in spaceship portrayals, they are usually shown as only being on its back and the back of its tail. It has two large, alces-like antlers atop its head, which usually appear as brown, but appear tan in creature portrayals due to the creature editor's limitations, and is recognizable by two circular saws connected by appendages to its face. It has two wings on its back that appear to be feathered, and they are consistently shown as being the same colour as the captain's skin. In addition to having two feet that have always been covered by shoes or socks (outside of creature portrayals, in which case they are the Hoppity foot part, but they are still partially covered by shoes), Captain Retzorg has reptilian, clawlike hands, which have always been shown covered in white gloves since the 3-year hiatus. It has a long, triangular, shark-like snout on its face. While they were originally blue, then red, and then without visible irises at all, Captain Retzorg's eyes have been consistently portrayed as green.

While Captain Retzorg's wardrobe is by no means constant, it is often wearing some sort of green shirt and red trousers. It is always wearing shoes as long as it is wearing any other item of clothing, which are either grey or beige.

Alternate FormsEdit

Captain Retzorg's alternate forms include, but are not limited to:

Magic Chromium ArmorEdit

The Magic Chromium Armor is, as its name suggests, armor composed of enchanted chromium; the captain can apply this armor to almost any form. In its earlier iterations, it is painted with black-and-yellow-striped hazard pattern. It later appeared as "Magic Chromium Armor v2," which changes the colour to solid red and adds a visor, fireproof gloves, and armor for Captain Retzorg's wings. Outside of the fireproof gloves and nuanced area of protection, it is unknown if the Magic Chromium Armor v2 has any advantages over the first Magic Chromium Armor.

Desperation Mode FormEdit

This form is activated when Captain Retzorg has taken a significant amount of damage. As far as appearance, it inverts the captain's colouration, turning it purple, as well as making its pupils move to the outer side, so they are as far away from each other as possible. It generally increases Captain Retzorg's power, allowing it to use its more dangerous attacks, such as Rush Cannon. Along with the Boum Form, it has so far only appeared in Captain Retzorg's first battle, against Tenguman.

Boum FormEdit

Boum Form is essentialy an amplified version of Captain Retzorg's Desperation Mode Form, and can only be accessed if it was previously in Desperation Mode. It increases Captain Retzorg's power even more, allowing it to use even more dangerous techniques. However, it quickly drains out Captain Retzorg's sanity, and possibly life energy, to make it even more mentally unstable than the Charred Form; it caused Captai Retzorg to use a fake suicidal attack the first (and, so far, only) time it was used. The only change of appearance from the Desperation Mode Form is that Captain Retzorg's eyes look like orbs of fire. The Spore user MilkyWayCrew once said that he thinks Captain Retzorg looks like "an angry drunk Bee datts on fire" while in this form. The name of the form originates from a French omanotopeia for "bang."

Shade Realm FormEdit

Captain Retzorg's Shade Realm Form is how the captain appears in the Shade Realm, which is the inside of a  Game Boy featured. It is featured in Captain Retzorg's battle with PandaWolf. It was originally revealed as 'Mystery Form', in which its description and tags (which are "fist" and "brutal", respectively), as well as its appearance, hinted at it being related to the White Hand. Captain Retzorg's colouration becomes desaturated in this form, and its left hand becomes the White Hand, enabling it to use the "fist" and "brutal" attacks.

Charred FormEdit

Captain Retzorg enters this form upon defeat in a battle or otherwise significant damage. It looks entirely grayish-black, except for the eyes, which are the same. Captain Retzorg's powers, flight included, are all disabled, and it becomes quite insane, talking in all capital letters, using grammar improperly, and failing to use anyone's given name. Captain Retzorg can escape this form by being healed by someone else or by making toast.


Main article: Discorretzorg

Strawberry TimesEdit

Main article: Strawberry Times


Main article: DarkestNightOfAll

DarkestNightOfAll is a disguise that was unsuccessfully used to challenge Tenguman to another battle.


Captain Retzorg is highly mercurial, switching between being entirely level-headed and being flambouyant and carefree on a whim; for example, during its battle with Tenguman, it displayed a no-nonsense attitude, but when later battling the Quake Golem and PandaWolf, it ceased to take either battle seriously after the passage of a single "turn." When displaying one of its flambouyant moods, Captain Retzorg has a tendency to frequently make popular cultural references that are often obscure in nature. It also tends to be very indecisive and obsessive, but is generally friendly and well-meaning towards others when not in a battle. Additionally, prior to Spore user Retzorg's 2012-2015 hiatus, Captain Retzorg acts rather immaturely at times, especially during earlier portrayals.

Retzorg Facepalming


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Zwietracht's RevengeEdit

On the morning of July 3, 1972, Captain Retzorg awakens from a 3-year sleep (representing 3 years of not creating anything), the original cause of which is currently unknown. It then becomes ecstatic and overjoyed about "[conquering] Entropy Lord," an event that has currently not been further described, and then promptly runs off to "go tell everyone." The captain, however, eventually slows down before realizing that it was in the middle of a desert; this desert was later indirectly revealed to be the Mojave Desert. Captain Retzorg soon realizes that is "Magic Bag" (a currently unseen item) is missing, and then flies into the air to survey the landscape, but finds nothing but the empty desert. It then leaves behind several of its possessions, flies low to the ground, and disables its endothermic properties to keep cool and save energy, looking for whatever had caused there to be oxygen in the desert.

"'Ohhhh noooooooo...' says Retzorg in a voice stolen from JonTron."

Four hours later, near the city of Primm, Nevada in the Mojave desert, Captain Retzorg monologues about the events that have conspired since finding its Magic Bag missing, but then realizes that it can escape the conundrum of being stranded in the desert by transforming into Discorretzorg. It promptly does so, and Discorretzorg then teleports out of the desert, intending to get to its home planet of Slothogonia; it fails, however, to do so, and instead teleports to an unknown location, where Discorretzorg splits into Captain Retzorg and Zwietracht.



Strawberry Times, the result of Denga's role in Discorretzorg being replaced by Tango.

In an alternate timeline, Tango time-travels into a story Zwietracht is telling to Captain Retzorg about the creation of Discorretzorg. Strangely, Zwietracht and the instance of Denga in the story are inrepreted as the same being, which battles Tango. Whilst the two are doing battle, Tango gets in the way of the copy-fusion beam that Captain Retzorg used first create Discorretzorg. This causes the instance of the captain in the story, taking place in 1969, to instead become Strawberry Times; this also means that Discorretzorg and Zwietracht are prevented from existing in this timeline.

Meanwhile, the instance of Captain Retzorg in 1972, outside of the story, comments on the incoherent nature of the recent events. It is then suddenly run over and killed by what appears to be a DeLorean time machine. A grey figure resembling Captain Retzorg exits and the car and, after admiring one, two, or all of the characters who are in 1969, remarks, "This makes no sense. The timeline has been ruined."


Captain Retzorg has/uses the following abilities in battles and roleplays:

Techniques that use a weapon such as a cannon or a wand and are implied to not be innate to Captain RetzorgAttributes of the Magic Chromium Armor and not innate to Captain Retzorg


  • Weak constitution in general, which it usually tries to assuage by wearing magic chromium armor in combat
    • 200% damage taken from piercing attacks
  • When defeated, the opponent gets a "weapon get"
  • No Random Critical Hits

Attitude Towards OthersEdit



He assists Captain Retzorg in the Inside Giygas roleplay.


Captain Retzorg more-or-less uses Tenguman as a role model. They have also had a battle, and Discorretzorg came from the captain copying and fusing with one of Tenguman's alternate forms.

Nikola Tesla (fictional)Edit

In "Retzorg and the Serbian" he is a friend to Captain Retzorg, although their history together is largely unknown.


Clam Eyes (1960s)Edit

In Clam Eyes's first appearance, Captain Retzorg lazors him for an unknown reason.

Thomas Edison (fictional)Edit

In "Retzorg and the Serbian", he drops a bridge on Clam Eyes, causing him to die.

Woodrow Wilson (fictional)Edit

In "Retzorg and the Serbian", he kills Clam Eyes with a hadoken.


Retzorg's sanity was destroyed by the High Priest of the Elder Gods


Clam Eyes (Early 20th Century)Edit

In "Retzorg and the Serbian", Captain Retzorg seems to be highly upset that Clam Eyes dies from having a bridge dropped on him and is then killed by a hadoken.

Continuity and CanonEdit

The continuity in which Captain Retzorg exists appears to be canon with everything.


Absolutely everything.


  • Captain Retzorg is 1 meter tall[2],

    Retzorg's height compared to that of Endymion and Stormie's.

    making it among the shortest adult main RP characters, if not the shortest.
  • According to a Spore comment by user Retzorg, Captain Retzorg's mass is 32 kg.[3]
  • Captain Retzorg's Desperation Mode Form and Boum Form are very similar to Girt's Dark Form and Dark Void Form, respectively. This is entirely coincidental, because the two created said forms independently of each other.
  • Captain Retzorg first turned into a pixie after its Mimi fused with the heart of a copy of Tenguman, who happened to be both crazy and evil, cast magic. Captain Retzorg was then stuffed into a wooden chest. Afterwards, Captain Retzorg was turned back into its normal self by Girt, but a time paradox caused time to reset to when the captain was a pixie. Retzorg later fixed this by turning into JohnTheDragon (before he was renamed to be "Endymion") and using goldfire somehow.
  • Zeeky and Mimi are currently each other's only known relatives.
    • Coincidentally, both of their forenames end in /i/.
  • Captain Retzorg wears shoes, which is highly uncommon for non-human characters in most other user canons. This gives it a huge advantage when walking over surfaces that could potentially cause fatal boo-boos, such as:
    • Spikes
    • Munchers
    • Magma
    • Lava
    • Lego
    • Boiling Kool-Aid
    • Fluoroantimonic acid
    • Sodium hyrdoxide
    • Landmines
    • Naval Mines
    • Navel Mines
    • Strip Mines
    • Hedgehogs
    • Porcupines
    • Pufferfish
    • Lionfish
    • Fox "News"
    • Spikes
  • Captain Retzorg's blood has a very peculiar total lack of colour. To bridge this gap in logic, the brains of anyone who sees the blood fabricates a new colour, which has been dubbed "magenta (mə • ǰɛn • tə)".[4] Magenta
    • The reason for the magenta colour could be that the blood could be similar to that found in Cuttlefish and Horseshoe crabs, in terms of makeup, having high amounts of hemocyanin, used in conjunction with hemoglobin, creating the odd color described there.
    • Ironically, magenta is a common color game programmers use to indicate a missing texture. Examples include Minecraft and any game made on the Source engine. If certain textures are missing, its common to see a grid of black and magenta in the place of where the texture should be on a model, for debugging purposes. This could be another explaination for why Captain Retzorg's blood appears as magenta, that Captain Retzorg's blood simply does not have a texture assigned to it, and therefor appears as a magenta fluid.
    • It is also worth noting that cells in the cell stage of Spore bleed a purplish colour when attacked, and have purple meat. Since Captain Retzorg originated as a Spore creature, it is probable that the unique biochemistry of Spore creatures still applies to it.
  • Captain Retzorg once had a radio that it used to change its musical theme. It was used so much, however, that it exploded.
    • Another machine of Captain Retzorg's possession, The Machiney, did nothing but explode If both machines were indeed created by the captain, it is possible that everything it engineers is bound to explode.
  • Captain Retzorg has a pet toaster.
  • Captain Retzorg likes to drink vinegar straight from the bottle.
  • Unlike possibly every other central character, who each possess the ability to easily overpower an ordinary human, it has been stated that Diana Ross would defeat Captain Retzorg in combat due to the fact that the captain cannot attack anyone who sings music from the future, and Diana Ross has released songs decades after Captain Retzorg's lifespan.[5]
  • Tenguman shuts down in a desert, while Captain Retzorg wakes up in one.
  • Captain Retzorg and Stormer are both generally referred to using seven-letter names (Captain Retzorg specifically usually being called by surname only,) of which they share five letters, including the presence of two instances of the letter "R" in both names, have both been the central protagonist of their respective user canons, and both are physically neither male nor female.
  • Bill Gate$ owns 100% of Captain Retzorg. This is quite a remarkable feat, since he owns over 9000% of everyone else (even you), besides for himself, which he owns 100% of, and the United States of America, which he owns a mere 99.9% of.
  • The mouth-buzzsaws that Captain Retzorg sports on the side of its face seem to be an anatomical impossibility, at least for earth life. If the saws were living issue, they would need to be connected to Captain Retzorg's body somehow, thus now allowing free rotated. If they were disconnected, and thus, allowed to freely rotate, the saws would die very quickly from a lack of nutrients being supplied to them, and Captain Retzorg would be stuck with 2 dead lumps of chitin on the ends of its horns, and any damage to these saws would not be self-repairing, as nutrients do not travel in between the core body of Captain Retzorg and the buzzsaws.[6]
  • An alternate take on these saws is that they act almost like a living version of a clockwork toy, with a tendon acting as the "spring" in the organic mechanism, allowing the outer saw-like shell to spin with power behind it, cutting through whatever the saws need to at the time.
  • Retzorg is one of the few Spore RPers who is not a furry, along with Johnthedragon
  • Retzorg is the least edgy of any currently active members of the community, by far, especially in terms of their RP contuinuity.

Gallery of ImagesEdit

Names in Other LanguagesEdit

Language Name Explanation
English Captain Retzorg Original name; created by Spore user Phaztonian by "mashing together sounds."[7]
Deutsch Kapitän Rotestein Literally "Captain Red Stone."
Italiano Capitano Gicche Brade Rezzorghe All three non-title names have a masculine or feminine "e" inflection. "Gicche," pronounced /dʒikke/, is phonetically similar to "Zeeky." "Brade" is derived from "bradipo," meaning "sloth," mirroring the origin of "Slotho." "Rezzorghe" is the Italian reading of "Retzorg" with the "e" inflection.
Русский Капитан Рецорг Romanized as "Kapitan Ryetsorg;" simplified cyrillic reading of "Captain Retzorg."
日本語 キャプテンレトゾ Romanized as "Kyaputen Retozo;" katakana reading of "Captain Retzorg" with the last two letters of "Retzorg" omitted.


  1. Spore creation "Retzorg @ Tenguman" by user Retzorg
  2. Retzorg's user blog on Slothogonian physiology
  3. A creator comment on Spore creation "Rule 63 Counterpart" by Retzorg
  4. Spore creation "For future reference" by user Retzorg
  5. File:RossvsRetzorg.jpg
  6. Wikipedia on rotating locomotion in living systems
  7. Spore creation "Name Origins" by user Retzorg